Preparing your Ceremony with your Officiant

Ceremony-focused meetings
  • You probably want to set up a few meetings to talk about what the ceremony looks like. 
  • Perhaps even a virtual rehearsal the week leading up to the wedding. 

Ceremony Creation
  • 'Starter questions' that may help crafting your ceremony - entrances, traditions, vows, overall experience...
    • Will you do a ring exchange
    • Will you kiss at the end
    • How do you want to enter - together/ separately
    • How do you want to be announced at the end
    • What would you like to be said or shared -- quotes, readings, stories (even inside jokes). 
    • Will you be speaking during the ceremony? perhaps repeating vows or doing your own
      • What language will you be expected to speak in?
      • Do you want to speak into a microphone or just nominally repeat what is asked
      • If saying vows
        • You may be writing your own vows and reciting them
        • Writing your own and repeating after the officiant
        • Repeating pre-made vows. 
    • Who will be speaking during the ceremony? It may only be the officiant, you may also have readers or an MC. 
    • If there is another wedding ceremony, do you want any mention or nod to the other ceremony (perhaps one done in the past or one done in another faith) 
    • Will family members or parents play any role during the ceremony
      • Who is needed to participate? 
      • What will he/she be expected to do?
      • When does this happen during the ceremony (beginning, middle, end)
    • Will you create your own wedding tradition? When will it be performed (beginning, middle, end)
    • Will you sign the marriage license publicly or privately (if you're not sure, then this is likely done privately) 
    • There is also tone of the ceremony - romantic, playful, somber, interactive, thematic, entertaining
      • How do you feel about jokes? 
    • Do you need to bring any items for the ceremony (rings, vows, religious items) 
      • What is expected and when does it need to be given to the officiant? 
  • Legalities
    • Your officiant needs to be licensed if they are to perform the legal marriage at the same time
      • This may be more of a question if your officiant is coming from out of town or your officiant is a friend you have asked to officiate
      • If you want to 'just do it' becoming an officiant online can be done pretty easily and quickly, like within a day, usually through an online church and registering with the clerk's office.
        • ​Regarding licensing there are a few cautionary tales online about online officiant certificates so take a second look if you are doing this DIY
    • The couple getting married will also want to make sure you make an appointment to register for marriage at the right time. 
      • The way it usually works: 
        • Get your license within the 30 days before the wedding day (or similar, per your state’s regulations)
        • It is Signed on the wedding day itself by the officiant and witnesses (which becomes the date you are married)
        • Your officiant mails in an official copy to the clerk's office
        • The court stamps it 'official'
        • After that you can pick it up or have it mailed to you for your records 
Pro tip:
  • If a friend is performing the ceremony, make sure they have blocked the full day - you don't want them going to the dentist that morning and talking funny that afternoon!