Who Talks to Who

Engagements are an exciting time – families are coming together, parents may be meeting for the first time. It is fun to have the spotlight on you and what you want for your ‘big day’. There are traditions to consider, relatives to involve, religious and legal requirements to adhere to, and at the center of it all is the happy couple. Groom and Bride. One piece of advice as the expectations for the wedding ceremony and celebrations are being discussed is that the bride and groom should stay in the middle and be the middle men in these conversations. It sounds attractive to simply let the parents and in laws sit down and sort out what traditions each of them feel bound to follow, however each family has its own communication style. Perhaps one set of parents is talkative and joking, and the other set is more somber and to-the-point. If you leave these two sets of parents in the same conversation and expect your wedding plans to be sorted out when you come back, you will most likely find both sets a little frustrated by each other and instead of having all of the decisions made you will have a little friction to deal with. If you think about it, you’ll realize that your parents are much more likely to compromise with their child than they are to compromise with a couple they recently met. It can be a little annoying to have to be in the middle of every conversation, but it is an important part of keeping the peace between different families. Groom should talk to his parents, Bride should talk to hers, and Groom and Bride should find a compromise and then go back to their parents with the decision.